As The Year 2019 Ends, I Look Back And These Are Some Of My Thoughts

2019 isn’t quite over yet. And yet, there have been some significant differences between this year and the previous.

When this year started, I set myself a task to complete - to build new and maintain current relationships.

I started this because of a book that I read that profoundly affected my thinking.

Essentially, it reminded me that I could not live a life completely devoid of other people, at least not if I wanted to live a meaningful life.

Now, this all sounds really cliché and ‘obvious’.

I do have to give a bit of an explanation.

My tendency is to avoid human contact - mainly because I find people draining to be around. As such, I can go for tremendously long periods without interacting with another human being, even an online one - something most people find very odd.

As a result of this tendency, I have neglected a lot of relationships and avoided cultivating new ones.

It culminated in a year that felt extraordinarily low and depressing. That was 2018.

I didn’t want a repeat of that. Thus, I made a commitment to myself to do something about my relationships in 2019.

Was I fully successful? Likely not.

And yet, I know that I have put in a significant amount of effort and time into building up some of my relationships this year. And I’m glad to say that I have the improved relationships to show for it.

In terms of career / work, I’d say that this year was not great, but it was much better than last year. I’d also say that, through the building of relationships this year, I have set up a number of projects for next year. So I fully expect that 2020 will be an even better year!

I’ve been very inactive on social media this year, having gotten rather jaded with the whole content mill thing.

I have nothing against people who can consistently and comfortably put up useful and engaging content, but those who cannot need to stop trying so hard. I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve blocked or removed from social media this year because their posts were annoying / inane. Clearly, they’ve been advised by someone to do it. And, truth be told, it’s not doing them favours.

Well, at this point, these are my main thoughts about 2019. Signing off until the next post!

I Had An Epiphany. But It Was So Counter-Culture, I Initially Kept It To Myself.

Some months ago, after some conversations I had, I had an epiphany.

It could explain, at least in part, some of the nagging doubts I’ve been having throughout this year.

This is what I realised about myself, and I wrote it down in these words:

I DON'T want to touch as many lives as possible.

Before you frown any deeper, there is a second part:

I want to deeply impact a very few.

For so many years, I keep hearing advice about increasing my reach so I can impact as many lives as possible.

For example, I hear of music stars who record a single song and, because it reaches so many of their fans so quickly through so many channels, they earn a tidy income from the exposure. Their fans convert the people around them into more fans, advertisers can’t wait to sign them up for endorsement deals, and they get invited to exclusive events and perform on ever-larger stages.

It’s all about gaining leverage and using it to get yourself out of exchanging time for money. In the music star’s case, the recording of the song required spending time once. After that, it constantly ‘works for’ the star.

It sounded logical. And it was.

And I kept hearing this, especially from well-meaning fellow educators and trainers, especially those I knew from networking events and meetups.

Yet, there was always something about it that didn’t sit quite right with me. I didn’t know what it was, until recently.

It was the ‘volume’ of people that I was being told I had to reach that was bothering me. But why? What could have brought this on?

As I dug a little deeper, I was reminded of the times when I just started being a trainer and got affected by less-than-stellar feedback. Though these incidents didn’t happen often, every time they did, I felt bad.

Eventually, I learned to remove my focus on the negative feedback because they were the tiny minority. Most of my feedback was good. Some were great!

Why should I have to feel low if I had already tried multiple times to engage the student who ended up deciding that he/she didn’t want to be there in the first place and was adamant about keeping a bad attitude about it?

Wouldn’t it make more sense to focus on those who were eager to learn and apply themselves?

And these were the memories that made me realise that I had known all along that what I wanted to do was to focus - very sharply - on the very few upon whom I know I can have the greatest impact because we were compatible and we found each other at the right place at the right time. Sounds almost like a love story, doesn’t it?

I was then reminded of three students that I taught. Two of them went on to pursue education paths in the subject matter that I taught them, one locally and one overseas. In recent conversation, they expressed their gratitude for my being part of their decisions to learn more.

Another one became my colleague - a fellow trainer - teaching the same types of courses that I do even today.

Out of the thousands of students I’ve had, of whom I still keep in touch with a few, these were three that pointedly remind me about why I do what I do.

This is what I want to keep doing - to find the very few for whom I can deliver the deepest impact and help them effect the greatest change.

Doubtlessly, it will entail a certain amount of ‘outreach’, but this recent realisation has sharpened my focus and it will feature strongly in my goals for the upcoming year.

Thank You For Being Part of My 2017

As 2017 draws to a close, I would like to thank all the incredible people I've met this past year.

Whether it was at a Trainers' Synergy gathering, a SG100 meet-up, an APTS meeting, an Introverts' Network get-together, or the numerous workshops, conferences and events I attended or participated in this year, I was glad to meet you.

Thank you for sharing your experience and for being so generous with your time.

Some of you I met during mission trips, church events (especially our recently concluded stage production - Close Quarters) and church services.

Thank you for demonstrating the love and grace of our Lord, for doing what you do in God's service, and for being a part of the body of Christ. 

I would like to specially thank you who were at my wedding, my speaking engagements, as well as my book launch. 

Thank you for being there to show your support, love and care.

To you whom I have known for years, thank you for your friendship. We may not have been able to meet as often as we'd like, but know that you hold a place in my heart.

As we dive into 2018, I wish you clear direction, excellent opportunities and endless delights.

Thank you for being part of my 2017. I look forward to journeying with you in 2018.