How Introverts Can Be More Confident When Meeting People

Last month, I was at PSB Academy STEM Campus, and I was interviewed by Marc Wong for a series of videos that he has been planning to produce for the benefit of students and alumni of PSB Academy - a series that he calls Career Cookies - with a short message in each video, like fortune cookies (which, if you watched Iron Man 3, is an American invention, not a Chinese one).

But I digress.

Marc asked if I would speak about introversion and how introverts can become more confident when they meet people. So, I did.

And here's the video!

3 Tips in the video:

1) Have a Conversation Starter with you. For me, it’s often a book or my camera.

2) Aim to meet just ONE person per event. Follow up, and talk to this person about something that interests you.

3) Keep practising! All skills can be mastered!

The importance of networking shouldn't be discounted when you're looking for a job or moving up the career ladder. But for some people who might be of a shy ...

Dating an Introvert Isn't Difficult. Just Follow These 5 Tips.

1) Introverts enjoy socialising – just with fewer people and for shorter durations.

Introverts aren’t shy and they don’t dislike people. They simply generate energy by being on their own, the complete opposite of extroverts, who become energised when they are around other people.

Because introverts get drained when socialising, they slowly lose the ability to filter out excess external stimuli and, consequently, become less and less engaged as they tire out. This has the effect of making them seem quieter and quieter as the date goes on.

To counteract this, bring your date away from the bustling crowds and let them recharge somewhere quiet and relaxing. Give them some space and time to be quiet and they’ll be better soon, with the added bonus of them being grateful for your understanding..

2) Introverts do better in quieter, less crowded environments.

Introverts are more sensitive to environmental stimuli. As such, they can get overwhelmed when subject to noise, bright lights and too many people.

Plan dates with introverts in less crowded venues, where they won’t have to jostle with others or listen to loud chatter.

If you are planning to bring them somewhere stimulating, like a carnival, large festival or party, let them decide when it’s time to leave. When they do exercise the option, leave with them promptly.

3) Introverts prefer deep discussions to casual talk

One of the pet peeves of introverts everywhere is small talk. They find it tedious, boring and useless for the purposes of getting to know someone better. At best, they put up with it but few, if any, enjoy it.

Once you’ve gotten past the opening questions, ask your introvert date about their thoughts on issues that they hold close to their hearts. Tell them about your experiences and what you learned as a result.

These topics of conversation may feel ‘too heavy’ to you but they are more than welcome to your introvert date.

4) Introverts need time to think before they speak

Introverts spend a good deal of their time thinking and tend to be careful with what they say in order not to cause offense or confusion.

Encourage them to share their thoughts with you by asking open-ended questions like, “What do you think about [topic]?” or “Why do you think [incident] resulted in this?” Then, give them some time to formulate an answer.

Most introverts appreciate the question, “Do you need some time to think about it?” in the midst of a fast-paced conversation. It shows that you value their input and that you care about what they have to say.

5) Introverts aren’t shy. They just take longer to warm up to new environments or with new people.

Introverts tend to be more affected by external stimuli because they are more sensitive to the chemicals that the body produces when stressed or excited. As a result, they tend to be more cautious when it comes to novel experiences and/or strangers.

Reassure your introvert date as you ease them into a new situation or when they are meeting you for the first time.

Let them observe and explore at their own pace and they will eventually feel more comfortable and open up to you.

They will also be grateful to you for your consideration and patience.

Is It Wise to Share Your Thoughts Online?

The great thing about having your own space online is that you can write whatever you want!

Well, that’s not quite true.

Even though we’ve carved a space out, it never really belongs to us.

Furthermore, it’s still visible to others.

And that visibility forces us to censor ourselves.

As such, there are certain things that I would NEVER talk about online.

Not out of fear of what others might say, but simply out of a sort of understanding. That this will never be a truly ‘safe’ zone.

So where do I go to express those thoughts?

When I talk to someone I can trust.

Or I simply pen them down (yes, with a real pen) on paper (yes, real paper).

I HIGHLY recommend the writing option.

That said, I’m sharing these thoughts online.

Hmm…

Meeting Marc Wong from PSB Academy

Following up from the World Success Summit, organised by Rahul Shah and Jit Puru, as I talked about it in my previous post, I got to meet Marc Wong, who was one of the people in charge of student affairs and industry engagement.

I arranged a meeting with Marc and we are working towards a couple of collaborative projects, including a book corner for the staff and students of PSB Academy.

Well, I've put in my book for the worthy cause, and I'll be approaching more authors to contribute towards it.