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It started with an information request by a journalist / reporter on how extroverts can better relate to introverts in business as well as personal relationships. I thought I'd write 5 points that may be useful to extroverts.
The essential difference between an introvert and an extrovert is in how each personality type generates energy.
Introverts generate energy by being in solitude, with minimal external stimulation.
Extroverts generate energy by being around other people and usually feel more 'alive' when they have lots of external stimulation.
External stimulation may consist of sounds like music or talking, visuals like bright lights and television screens, even smells like scented candles and perfumes.
As such, introverts tend to tire (run low on energy) very quickly, especially in novel or large social situations. These happen to be situations that extroverts often revel in, and likely result in extroverts getting puzzled at introverts who want to leave a party early or when they wish to stay home to do something that seems very non-stimulating - like reading.
When an introvert is rested and has replenished his/her energy, he/she will be much more engaging because there is energy enough for socialising and general merriment.
Let us have our 'alone time' when we need it and avoid too many questions. We truly appreciate your understanding and we'll soon be back, ready to go.
The mind of an introvert is a terribly busy place. Ideas intermingle as they are slowly linked to other bits of information that we've collected over the years. All this organisation and production of coherent thoughts takes a bit of time, so don't expect immediate answers to questions.
Much of the time, the long-awaited response will have been carefully crafted and worded so as not to create controversy or evoke too much emotion (which may end up overstimulating us). As such, it is often worth the wait.
Introverts dislike small talk because it feels superficial to us. We prefer to get to know the real you, so tell us more about your deeper thoughts, your likes and dislikes, as well as your views and opinions.
We are, quite frankly, less interested in the stories of you and that friend or the other, unless they are present in the conversation as well. Instead, we would really rather focus on you at the moment, please.
In a professional setting, such as a meeting, you may sometimes need to give us a little prompt along the lines, "Would you like to add something?"
Many introverts do not like to interrupt when others are speaking. They prefer to wait for a pause or seek a cue for their contribution. When there are many extroverts around, this may not happen at all. The extroverts will end up wondering why the introverts aren't sharing anything so they fill the pauses with more information. All the while, the introverts are frustrated that the extroverts are hogging the limelight and not giving them a chance to speak up.
So give us an opening now and then. We really appreciate it.
Introverts often end up doing the things that extroverts like, such as attending social events and visiting noisy places, because they may not be comfortable interrupting already-made plans or speaking up against them. Unfortunately, they often end up tired and unhappy from all the extra stimulation, even feeling a bit of indignation that their extrovert activity partners never asked for their opinion before making such plans.
We'll feel more cared for and will appreciate your consideration when you offer to do some 'quiet' things with us, like sitting in a small cafe or walking through a park or garden in the cool of day.
At the end of the day, introverts and extroverts need each other. Introverts benefit from extroverts who help us to break the ice and who make introductions for us.
Extroverts benefit from our painstaking analysis when it comes to planning, especially for a new year ahead.
Instead of seeing each other as weirdos from an opposite camp, let us come together and help each other out in our strengths and cover each other's weaknesses.
A week or so ago, I was asked by a fellow trainer to help photograph an event at Our Tampines Hub.
The event was put together by the SG100 Foundation, a society with the aim of engaging both the youth and the pioneer generation of Singapore to create a bright future for our beloved country.
Not being too sure about what to focus on, I asked the event organiser, who asked me to focus on the participants and the guest of honour, Mr Baey Yam Keng, as he visited the different stalls manned by organisations and companies which have involved themselves in social contributions and other worthy pursuits.
Once the performances began, people started getting into the swing of things and I was free to photograph on-the-ground activities, which I much prefer over stage activities.
I've posted the better photographs in an album on my Facebook page after spending some time correcting the colours (the lighting was orange).
Apart from once again exercising my over-long-dormant photography skills, I got to speak with some entrepreneurs there. We may be working on some projects together in the near future.
A couple of things I learned while photographing the event
1) Unexpected things almost always happen at events
An individual with (I presume) her family was shouting and demanding to see the organiser when she and her family were asked to give up their seats to a large group of senior residents who were attending the event. In essence, she was saying that the organisers did not put in enough thought into the number of seats provided.
While I find her behaviour ridiculous and self-entitled, I shall bear this in mind in the planning of my next event.
2) All you have to do is ask
Although I prefer to take shots silently, some of my photos were posed and they turned out very well - a result of my asking my subjects for a shot.
Perhaps it is the introvert side of me that overthinks the asking part, I usually assume that asking for a picture is bothersome to the other party (since I don't like to be in photos myself).
Well, it turns out time and again that many people are quite happy to pose for a photograph if asked. Perhaps they, too, think that it would be presumptuous to ask a photographer to take a picture of them and prefer to wait to be asked instead - a little flattery to be asked to be a model, maybe. I'm not too sure but, from this experience, I figure that it's all up to me to make the request.
The worst that could happen is that they say 'No'.
That said, the majority of my pictures were not posed. I still enjoy the 'captured moment' style of photography and I'll continue to improve my pursuit of this style.
Before I end off this post, Happy 2017! To more learning experiences and more sharing!
Ever since the learning events I participated in, I've been on the lookout for more to join in. Normally, I'm really apprehensive about such things, much preferring to keep to myself, stay in and think.
However, I have seen how important and useful it is to meet new people. Not only does meeting new people give us chances to help each other, the experience helps me to broaden my outlook and provides more material for ideas.
Already, I have come up with a number of new directions and plans to work on for the next few months. It's going to be pretty exciting to get more ideas.
In this coming week, I'm contemplating attending two events, one on Thursday about networking, and one on Friday, a design-type symposium. No confirmation yet, but they definitely look interesting.
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